The goals we set for us depend on our worldview, our self-consciousness, our surroundings, our values. Where do we get our values from?
Ideally, we find our values within ourselves. They can be a result of needs and feelings that we experience on us. Many of those needs and feelings we share with others, and some are very individual. They depend on our personal development. A model that can be used here is the pyramid of needs. Fulfilled needs step in the background and give room for new, higher needs, which come forward and impact our values.
Feelings usually result in the values that we defend most eagerly. A feeling is often followed by a need, which in turn shapes the values. Fear can feed a need for safety, and then we value predictability, stability, conformity and control. The need for freedom, adventure and new experience withers away and people who want to do something differently are seen as a threat. Feelings have a strong impact on what we think is right and important. I choose this example because it is so prominent, and can be observed all over our society. Fear is used excessively to shape the needs of people and create acceptance for political goals. This is possible because so many people receive their orientation from confidants who they often never met personally. Because they have no orientation themselves and do not question the world events while at the samt time believing that they already understood it or are not capable to ever understand it.
What does that mean for our goals? Am I afraid, my goal might be to last out behind high walls for as long as possible. Am I undaunted, my goal could be to travel and see as much as possible of the world. Am I disoriented, my goal might be to fit in and adapt and always appear to be as others do, as it is expected.
But how do I become the way I am? Through my experience. Through my Weltbild, my beliefs, my worldview. This determines how I process what I perceive, what I feel threatened by, what I assess to be important or meaningless. My worldview is very important for the feelings that something triggers within me. It is always useful to ask why a feeling came forward, where it came from. Otherwise we loose control of our feelings, our life, ourselves.
A rational and mostly emotionless consideration can also give us values. When something does not trigger an emotion, it usually does not have much impact on our development and our actions. A motive arises when we relate something to us, and this also results in feelings. Still, an attempt to generate values while trying to keep very personal preferences out of the process can be helpful and fruitful. The categorical imperative is an example of a value system that was developed with the intent to enable a society that considers all individuals rather than each individual maximizing personal profit.
When we achieve a goal we have the chance to pause and consider. We can have a look whether achieving the goal really delivers the reward we had hoped for. We can wait a bit and see how long the change lasts, how long our life is changed for the better. It can happen that very little changes, that we simply define another almost identical goal, but with somewhat larger numbers. If that happens, it should make us reconsider the type of goals that we set. Often we actually have the same goals, like contentment, acceptance, recognition, attention, significance. The path to those goals in today’s world is often defined by derived goals that are promised to result in achieving the actual goal. But that never happens. When I then conclude that my derived goal was simply not ambitious enough, that another, bigger goal of the same kind will do the job, then I am trapped on a hopeless path.
How do we get to a worldview that gives us orientation and enables us to live a life as we wish to have it? By finding and questioning adopted opinions. By taking time and forgoing constant distraction. By no longer pursuing adopted goals so committed, that no room is left for my own thoughts. By overcoming the belief that I must always go full throttle so I can somehow get the bare minimum of what I need. By identifying and omitting inessential things and the consumption of stuff just to show off. By taking the time to observe without prejudice, mostly observing ourselves. By taking the time to know things, mostly to know ourselves. In a world mysterious to us, we find no goals.