If you read “A Song of Ice and Fire” or watched the series “Game of Thrones”, you may remember the following quote by the character Petyr Baelish:
“In King’s Landing, there are two sorts of people. The players and the pieces… Every man’s a piece to start with, and every maid as well. Even some who think they are players.”
George R.R. Martin, A Storm of Swords
This is applicable not just for King’s Landing. It is also not limited to a fictional world. Every human being can think and act as a piece or as a player. You can probably see this when you observe the people you know. Some of them have a big impact on their surroundings, bring their ideas into reality, find and take opportunities, maybe run their own business. Maybe you know someone who keeps surprising you with new initiatives and unpredictable actions. And then you might know others, with an unchanging daily routine, consistently working to the next step in their career. Complaining about others who got the spot that they rightfully should have been given. Maybe they maintain a clean and orderly household and a family, where all seems to be as it should be, as one would expect from a proper citizen. And certainly you know a lot of people in between those two extremes. Most of us are both pieces and players. But most of us also have a tendency, what role we like to play more, what role we play most. What role do you prefer?
For a distinction between pieces and players to make sense it is not necessary to compete for a throne. Most of us do not compete for a throne. At least not for one standing in a big castle on the highest hill in the capital city of a kingdom. Most of us do not rule a kingdom, and many probably don’t even want to. But we are all living a life. Our own, individual life. Who has the responsibility for your life? Is it you? Then you have the mindset of a player. Is it someone else, something else? In your opinion, do bad luck and reckless people shape your life more than you do? Then you have the mindset of a piece. Our mindset determines how we think and act, how we live and who we are.
It can appear stressful and intimidating to try and be a player. We might believe that we must always be unpredictable, must never allow anyone to influence us, must always be on top of everything and should never be taken by surprise. However, that is not essential for what being a player is about. Being a player is about freedom. If we stress ourselves because we are convinced that we have to be a player, then we are not free. A free person does not worry about anyone else judging them as a player or piece. In fact, many people who might appear like players on a first glimpse are not free. They are slaves to their ambition, restlessly searching for a way to become more content, but never satisfied. They are actually pieces in the game of capitalism. They never learned how to be content, how to be happy. And they keep trying in the way they were told to, always wanting more, accumulating more, consuming more and not realizing the hopelessness of this method.
We have a lot to choose from. Choices are expected of us. We are often forced to choose, we are told that we do not live up to our responsibility if we don’t choose, if we don’t pick a side, place ourselves in a given selection of positions. This is part of a game, and it makes it easier for others to predict and judge us. We are expected to have the corresponding opinions when we identify with a position or party. We must choose this or that, and then we shall think and act accordingly. It is common to argue that we thought that way already before, because otherwise we would have made a different choice. Behind this argument is the assumption that there is an option given for all thinkable opinions, or that we are unable to have our own thoughts and therefore can only choose from given options. Having an individual opinion on everything is too much effort for most, and the world is more consistent if nobody has it. If everybody picks a side, if we have to do it, then I don’t need to feel guilty about making life easier by just adopting the opinions and claims that come with the side I picked.
When two adults interact, both have responsibility. Always. We might fall victim to someone violent who is stronger than us for a time. We might be unable to escape for a time. Especially at a young age, we are not to blame for ending up in that situation. As adults, we must learn to handle a situation, we are responsible to escape if necessary. There is no point in blaming others for all evil and insisting on having done everything always right myself, or saying that there never was a choice. There is no point in blaming the other side and believing that the side I belong to does it all correctly. It is never true, we would lie to ourselfes. And with that mindset, we would decide to always be the victim, a piece in someone else’s game.
If we feel responsible for our life, then we are a player. When we stop complaining about what others have done to us, when we see the opportunities that come with our individual situation, then we can take initiative and responsibility. For those around us, we might still appear like a piece, predictable, modest, helping others. A free person does not need to always be a rebel. But a free human being knows what is important, knows when to serve and when to shape the world.
Are you free? Do you want to be free? Do you know how to become free? The shortest answer is: The truth will make us free. That may sound familiar, but also mysterious. Finding truth requires observation and thinking. The previous article might give you an idea what that means, and how to come closer to truth.