Self-awareness and self-confidence can be translated to the same word in German: Selbstbewusstsein. However, there is a more specific word for self-confidence only: Selbstvertrauen. This word could also be translated to self-trust. Self-awareness and self-confidence are closely related. They usually go hand in hand. When we become aware of who we are, and what a human being is, we can build our confidence from within ourselves, independent of achievements that others expect from us or that we belief are suitable to impress or satisfy others.
If we wish to live and work for our own goals and pursue our own dreams, we need true self-confidence. So how do we find or strengthen our self-confidence? With self-observation and self-knowledge. With Erkenntnis of ourselves. First we need to observe our own thoughts, feelings and actions. Then we need to understand the nature of thinking, feeling and acting, and how we shape our life and the world with those three areas.
Our actions are an expression of our will, our motives. What we really want are not our intentions, but our actions. Our actions can become a habit. But what we do is still what we want, as long as we do it. We cannot observe our will directly. It is sub-conscious. But we can observe our actions. Long-term we can influence our will with our intentions, which we define with our thinking. To do so, we must use our thinking to transform an intention into a motive. Then it will result in an action. Short-term our will is also controlled by our body. Our body has a tendency to proceed as usual. Every cell of our body contributes to what we want. We call that a habit. It takes time and discipline to change a habit, because our cells need to adjust to a change that we must therefore initiate with new motives. We can create new motives using our thinking. For example, a new belief can result in new motives when we take time to think about the consequences of the belief and adjust our worldview. Our cells always adapt eventually, but it takes time and discipline to overrule them until that happens.
We are not always aware of our feelings, but we can become aware of them to some extent. They can be overwhelming, especially with fear and anger we can experience this spectacularly. But also joy can overcome us with the same intensity. Feelings often trigger reactions of our body, for example providing more energy. Our heart rate can go up, making us stronger and enabling us to flee quickly or react in other ways. When a feeling overcomes us, we show that with our body language and facial expression, with our behavior. We react to feelings with actions. A feeling can create a motive, and this often happens subconsciously. Also less dominant feelings are visible there, unless we focus on our body and intentionally avoid to show feelings. When we become aware of our feelings and give them our attention, we create distance to the feeling. We can do that to take a step back, so the feeling has less effect on us. That way we can recover control, and leave the feeling behind. Feelings can be caused by impacts from the outside world, but they can also be a result of our thoughts. We can actively create feelings by choosing thoughts that provoke them. Feelings can be our guide, but they can also be used to manipulate us. We must learn to see where and how a feeling originates.
We are fully aware of our thoughts. We mostly think about objects or events in the outside world. We use our thinking as a tool to function in this world. But we can achieve much more than that. We can get to know ourselves. To observe our thinking and see it as it is, we must leave materialism behind us first. As long as we believe that matter is doing the thinking, we will apply the laws of physics to the process of thinking. But thinking is not a material process, and with that prejudice we cannot find the laws of thinking. A short introduction into the laws of thinking is available in the previous article.
Our own goals and the values behind them should be visible and clear to us. Our values and goals are a result of our beliefs. We must know those beliefs because they control us. The beliefs were often shaped early in life, and if we do not uncover them as an adult, we miss the chance to develop. Our beliefs shape our actions, but once we become aware of them we might find out that our beliefs are not who we are. We stand above our beliefs, when we choose to do so. If we want to live our own potential in this life, we must be aware of ourselves.
A person with self-awareness is not easily intimidated or manipulated by majorities or authorities. That strength can only be achieved when we root our value and safety within ourselves, and not in the outside world. Then we will not adapt a goal simply because it is expected or normal. With self-awareness we do not define our value based on financial wealth, as the typical understanding for the question “What are you worth?” suggests. We then are independent of our bank account valuation, we do not admire rich people for their wealth and we do not look down on poor people for their poverty. Doing that is a sign of missing self-awareness. And self-confidence rooted in financial wealth or other achievements other than self-knowledge is not really self-confidence, but rather arrogance. Only self-awareness results in true self-confidence.
It is important to always remain open minded and to continue learning. It is the nature of our worldview to start simple and grow over our lifetime. In this process we must constantly add new Erkenntnis to simplifications we previously made and also correct mistakes. It is always valuable to listen to other opinions and understand people around us. Being able to work on my worldview and being able to see and correct mistakes I made is a sign of self-confidence and strength.
The most important step in self observation, the most important observation we can do in our live, is the observation of our own thinking. This is the way to self-knowledge and self-awareness. The previous article about the laws of thinking mentions that the path of Erkenntnis via natural sciences goes through a phase of materialism and atheism. This is a necessary step in our development, which cannot be skipped. It is possible to spend little time with that belief, and maybe you already left it behind with no effort. If you can understand why this phase is necessary but are open minded for forces originating beyond the material world, then you have successfully gone through materialism. Every human is allowed to spend as much time as needed in this phase. There is much to learn and we can take our time. Every life is instructive and meaningful.