“It is really true what philosophy tells us, that life must be understood backwards.
But with this, one forgets the second proposition, that it must be lived forwards.”Søren Kierkegaard (1813–1855)
At first, we do not understand many facts that we are confronted with. We regard them as an injustice, as an unreasonable imposition. Either we consider them a product of chance and pity our bad luck or we consider them punishment and endure our suffering. Often, the possibilities that come with a situation only become apparent when looking back. When we have grown from it, have become a better person. Accepting things that happen to us although we have not caused them, or at least have nor created them ourselves to the best of our knowledge and awareness, can be very difficult. Some people face fewer blows of fate than others, are gifted with a healthy and attractive body, others live a more challenging life. Still, independent of these obvious attributes a life can be easy or very difficult for someone. Anyone who does not have it would certainly be very happy about a healthy body. But when I am used to good health, then I barely notice my body, and probably find a thousand other problems that make my life difficult. How many difficulties a human has can differ greatly from the expectation of someone who believes that all his problems would be solved if only he had this good physical, financial or other prerequisites.
Certainly the features that are given to us enable certain paths that we can go and deny access to others. Some of the people around us take a path that is unachievable for us. But we are not here to permanently copy the life of someone else, even if it appears desirable to us. We are here to live our own life, work on our own tasks. That is easier to do when we understand the world better and gain trust in it again. Stop believing that it is all just happening by chance. Then we will also gain trust that we got precisely what we need to master the tasks that we were given in this world. Then we no longer need to hunt extraneous goals, which we are inadequately equipped to achieve, but can discover our own goals and shape our own life.
Often we can only tell much later what something was good for. What was made possible by an event. A lot can only be explained looking back at it. It first appears as a punishment, then as a gift. We should be careful with early judgements. Instead, we should make an effort to see our individual opportunities. Of course, we do not need to accept everything without pushing back. We are allowed to live our life forwards and shape it actively. We may also complain and try to change things. There is no need to surrender and justify inactivity with the excuse of not being strong enough, healthy enough, beautiful enough. Still, if we dream to be the worlds best basketball player and are only five feet tall when already fully grown, then we should wonder if we might have come to this world to work on a different task.
It is good to learn and value the opportunities that open up for us. And not spend too much time mourning the doors that have closed or never opened in the first place. We can make an effort to understand why things happen, but there is no need to constantly think about why things are the way they are now. As a first step it is already helpful to accept the unchangeable circumstances that we face and trust that they will somehow help us with our life task. That we are still able to shape a successful life. When we have gone further in life, we will understand the reasons as we are looking back. At the same time, we must live in a forward direction. We should obviously address what we can change, if we want it to be different. It is important to shape our life and our surroundings. And certainly you have already noticed that it is not always easy to know what we can change and what we should accept. To figure that out is a big part of our task on this planet, which nobody can do for us. A clear mind can help us here, when we make an effort to understand unselfishly and without prejudice.
“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.”Reinhold Niebuhr (1892 – 1971)